Reflections Archives - shm notes & posts

Reflections Travel

Apartheid Museum perusings and musings

17 September 202317 September 2023

In which I reflect on the Apartheid Museum. Open for reflections evoked by Mandela, Tutu, and what put them on the global stage.

The only regret I have about the Apartheid Museum was going after 26 hours of exhausting travel. I wish I was fully alert and rested so I could have read and processed everything more. It would be easy to spend an entire day at the museum, especially since there’s a cafe/restaurant there to refuel if needed. . The enlightenment This was the best museum I’ve ever been to, filled with information that was infuriating, enlightening, and somehow hopeful. I didn’t fully understand the atrocities that occurred during the Apartheid before I entered, and the care with which the museum displayed...

Reflections

The role of control in our personal perceptions

16 April 202316 April 2023

In which I present another lens for self-analysis. Open for new insight into old characteristics.

The entire spectrum of human experience is impossible to put into words, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. “Name it to tame it” has been instrumental in, well, taming my mental health. In particular, specificity has helped immensely in my reflections and understanding of myself and the world. Generally, people assume they’re in control of their life, actions, and thoughts. The jury is definitely out on all of those. In addressing my depression and its role in my life, I had to be honest with myself and my limitations. Now (mostly) on the other side, it’s interesting to see...

Career Reflections

Handling a negative performance review, healthily

13 February 202313 February 2023

In which I outline a step-by-step plan for processing a negative performance review. Open for tips on dealing with work grief.

Now that we’ve fully exited the holiday season, it’s that time of year again: performance reviews. Now I’ve gotten a range of performance reviews, and I remember my first negative one and the grief that I had to work through. Years of therapy and other experiences have perfectly poised me to write about the best way to work through a negative performance review. Alternatively, you can picture your reviewers face on a punching bag and have at it. This is a bit more productive though. . 1. Realize that part of a negative review is almost always the fault of...

Poems Reflections

All aboard and into the void!

18 August 202224 January 2023

In which I talk about the void we all know and often hate. Open for a poem and quick thoughts about social media.

As an elder (12 years strong) tweeter, there are few things I am more familiar with than shouting into the void. On most social media I post and share content that makes me appreciate, think, and laugh about life. My websites also serve as my own carved out section of the void. That said, Twitter is the premier website for unsolicited opinions. A recent encounter inspired me to write a poem I think applies to most of the internet. It was one of those tangential argument threads where one stranger asked another, "did anyone even ask you?" As if the...

Reflections

What is “potential” but bulls**t rooted in external expectations

20 April 202129 October 2021

In which I lament a childhood full of “potential.” Open for a condensed therapy lesson and what is probably too much angst.

My therapist introduced me to this TED talk about the necessity of gamification in reframing challenges, and the example of the toddler who fails at walking but tries anyway reminded me of an interaction I had with my niece. She took her sweet time walking, and I remembered jokingly yelling at her, "You are a bipedal organism! You can do this!" while trying to kind of force her to walk. Given her age, she did not understand me, but if she had I can only imagine how demoralizing this kind of talk would be. Failure is a natural part of...

Reflections

Racism: it’s not a game, but if it was….

19 January 20211 November 2021

In which I analogize racism to a sus game. Open to gamify racism and discuss how we’re all f***ed unless we get with the program.

Happy MLK day! Let’s talk about race through the lens of games. Oftentimes, I can categorize race talks in one of three games: The Game, Whack-a-Mole, and Among Us. The Game For the uninitiated, The Game is quite possibly one of the stupidest games ever. It never ends, and essentially you lose it every time you think about it. This is how many people addressed racial issues pre-2020: simply, if no one’s talking about it, then we must be winning! Of course, the problem with this logic is that people have always talked about it, only the number of listeners...

Reflections

“Do good” vs “Do no harm”

3 July 20201 November 2021

In which I compare the pledges “to do good” and “to do no harm” and why one is much worse than the other. Open to see the shade.

Language is extremely fluid, but as quarantine drags on I find myself wanting to use it more precisely—especially since physical contact with others is few and far between. Lately I’ve been thinking about the difference between “do good” and “do no harm”, both of which are goals for certain fields. On the surface, they seem to accomplish the same positive morale. As I dive deeper, they start to diverge. Consequences Consequences come as the result of any action. We allow for some margin of error in most things because no actions can be performed in a closed system, and therefore...

Career Health Reflections

The value in writing, even when you’re a “bad” writer

18 June 202024 January 2023

In which I talk about the value of writing. Open for a reminder on why you should pickup a pen.

Writing is hard. Anyone who says otherwise is either blindly confident or has never tried. There are a plethora of benefits to writing, regardless of whether you consider yourself a writer. Going through the writing process stands to benefit not only the writing itself, but other facets of life as well. The only way out of your thoughts is through them. This is one of the benefits of meditation as well. Allowing your thoughts to flow through you underpins many of the methods of mindfulness. And it makes sense—have you ever tried to make yourself stop thinking of something? At...

Reflections

Life, death, and other statistical improbabilities

20 December 201922 June 2022

In which I discuss life, death, and other statistical improbabilities. Open for numerical musings about qualities of life.

Industrial and systems engineering is 50% statistics/math and 50% process engineering. It is truly a course of study I believe was meant for me. But even after going through it, I have managed to have feelings about life statistics. The number of events that it took to get you where you are today is nearly infinite, thanks to the butterfly effect. That means the odds of you happening are infinitesimal. The odds of any version of you happening are infinitesimal. But that's when you're taking into account everything that had to happen to get you where you are today. Yet,...

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