self-reflections Archives - shm notes & posts

Reflections

Weddings’ and marriages’ place in community building

1 September 20252 September 2025

In which I discuss the pomp and circumstance of weddings. Open to see my evolution of opinion on why weddings actually matter.

I have the great fortune of being invited to some weddings this summer, so naturally marriage is on my mind. In particular, ideas of what marriage means and why we bother keep popping up. There's a lot of baggage and societal expectation around this particular commitment, and my feelings have evolved a surprising amount on it. . my background and baggage When I was religious, I had a very traditional view of marriage. I was also fourteen and had never been involved with another person romantically. As I shed much of the dogma, I found myself in an atheistic camp...

fragments

FYI Fragment II: behind OMG, comfort numbers, and fake intelligence

31 July 20251 August 2025

In which I present more fragmented thoughts. Open for musings on the phrase “oh my god”, comfort numbers, and fake intelligence.

Time for another assortment of rants and rambles! Today we have a breakdown of why "oh my god" is probably OK with a Christian god, what good numbers really are, and a couple of rants about AI. . anti-"oh my god" people need to understand vanity In a world of unprecedented access to our own images, we’ve managed to distort what vanity actually is. An IG reel (no one will ever make me download tiktok) from a Christian influencer questioned and criticized her own use of the term “oh my god” as it “takes the name of the lord in...

fragments

fyi fragment I: work-life balance, healthy conflict & other fun finds

27 October 202427 October 2024

Most of the time when I write something for my site, I make sure to flesh it out pretty well. I want my posts to...

Most of the time when I write something for my site, I make sure to flesh it out pretty well. I want my posts to more substantive and less tangential—but truth be told, that's not how I think. I have a lot of tangents that aren't robust enough for a post but are still ideas that I want to put out into the world. So now I've decided that I'll start doing that, in batches of two to three. If I can't have twitter I guess I'll make my own 😤 . the meaning of work-life balance (WLB) At some...

Travel

One man’s return to Greece after half a century

20 July 202414 May 2025

In which I recount taking my dad to his alma mater in Greece after 52 years. Open for a chronicle of the best father-daughter trip you’ve ever seen.

A fun fact about my dad is that his Doctor title comes from studying veterinary medicine in Greece. He graduated in 1972 (during the junta) and hasn’t been back since, until this year. For his 75th birthday, I decided to treat him to a trip to Greece, primarily in Thessaloniki (where he went to school) and Lesvos. . Choosing the island Anyone doing research on Greece knows there are many, many options to choose from when visiting the Greek islands. Knowing that my father likes beaches, olive oil, and ouzo, I decided on Lesvos. I got a few weird looks...

Health

Questions to ask yourself while searching for a therapist

23 May 202323 May 2023

In which I outline a few questions to ask yourself when evaluating a therapist. Open for years of therapy searching distilled into one post.

As May is mental health month, there is no better time to talk about the noble and sometimes arduous quest for therapy. But first, a couple notes: It often takes a couple of sessions to accurately assess your therapist. A therapist is not a replacement for community or societal change Over the last decade, I’ve had eight therapists. Most of my switches were because of external factors (moves, job changes), but I’ve also had therapists that just weren’t a good fit. My trials gave me quite a bit of insight on what to look for in a therapist. Everyone is...

Reflections

The role of control in our personal perceptions

16 April 202316 April 2023

In which I present another lens for self-analysis. Open for new insight into old characteristics.

The entire spectrum of human experience is impossible to put into words, but that doesn’t mean we shouldn’t try. “Name it to tame it” has been instrumental in, well, taming my mental health. In particular, specificity has helped immensely in my reflections and understanding of myself and the world. Generally, people assume they’re in control of their life, actions, and thoughts. The jury is definitely out on all of those. In addressing my depression and its role in my life, I had to be honest with myself and my limitations. Now (mostly) on the other side, it’s interesting to see...

Career Reflections

Handling a negative performance review, healthily

13 February 202313 February 2023

In which I outline a step-by-step plan for processing a negative performance review. Open for tips on dealing with work grief.

Now that we’ve fully exited the holiday season, it’s that time of year again: performance reviews. Now I’ve gotten a range of performance reviews, and I remember my first negative one and the grief that I had to work through. Years of therapy and other experiences have perfectly poised me to write about the best way to work through a negative performance review. Alternatively, you can picture your reviewers face on a punching bag and have at it. This is a bit more productive though. . 1. Realize that part of a negative review is almost always the fault of...

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